If there’s anything I’ve learned in this two and half years of marriage, it’s that I will only receive from it what I am willing to invest in it: spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Over the last two and a half years, I’ve learned a lot of other truths, but I’ll be sharing those via blog posts in the future (so, stay tuned). This is the one truth I really wanted to share with you all on this page.
Marriage is NOT two people coming together to form a perfect, ideal, cookie-cutter reality. And sadly, some people believe that’s what it’ll be for them simply because they are experiencing that in their dating phase. So sorry to burst anyone’s bubble, but it’s NOT that!!! Marriage is a daily commitment and recommitment that two imperfect people make to one another in respect to every aspect of their new, joined lives. And what I’ve found to be rewardingly true, is that whatever I am willing to put into my marriage, God will honor that investment in the spiritual AND it won’t take long for me to see the results in the natural. In marriage, adopting a teachable spirit is incredibly wise. Allow your spouse to teach you about him/herself through this journey. One of my closest mentors once told me, “Bri, you thought you knew everything there was to know about David when you said ‘I do,’ but really, the two of you are about to spend the rest of your lives getting to know each other every day in new ways.” So, that means, I’ve got to be willing to study my husband and learn him in the ways only I, his wife, should know him. So, what does this look like practically?
- Read marriage material together
- Attend marriage conferences/workshops
- Pray specifically for your spouse in your personal prayer time
- Pray together
- Discover your spouse’s love language and speak it daily
- Ask how you can serve your spouse in a better way
- Date nights (which do NOT have to be expensive, BTW!)
- Confess scriptures over your spouse
- Check in with your spouse & regularly ask “how are things going?”
- Give new activities that your spouse enjoys a try
Here are some of my foundational scriptures that help me in my role as a wife.
Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. 22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. 31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.
Ephesians 5:22-24
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Ephesians 3:16-20 (substitute you and your spouse’s name for the words ‘ye,’ you,’ and ‘your.’)
16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
1 John 4:18 (KJV)
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Proverbs 4:5-8
Get wisdom; develop good judgment. Don’t forget my words or turn away from them. 6 Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. 7 Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. 8 If you prize wisdom, she will make you great. Embrace her, and she will honor you.