What parts of your heart have you never shared with your mother? What parts of your heart do you regret sharing? I am fully aware of the varying degrees of relationships that mothers and daughters share: some do not have a mother due to tragedy, loss, or abandonment; some have more than one mother because of blended families; while others have their one. In any case, we are ALL daughters–longing for a pure relationship with a mother figure who we desire to nurture us through and through. I want to dig deeper into those areas of our hearts that we may have kept quiet along the way, or perhaps are just becoming acquainted with since becoming women ourselves. The following excerpts are from some of my dearest friends who shared a piece of their heart that they’d want to share with their own mother. Some have just found the courage through my blog to share it with them now.
“Dear Mama, they say fire brings out the purity in something. Well I’ve heard many stories of and have witnessed many times where you have walked through the fire. A more immature me used to want you to stand up for your self and be brave. I realized I was foolish and learned that bravery comes in many forms. Mom, you are the bravest person I know. Fire is refining and you are filled with purity because of it. I love you!
Love, Your Daughter.”
“As I reflect on my relationship with my mother, I can’t help but think about all of the things we “missed.” Ever since I was a young girl… I always gravitated to my father because he was the nurturer. I love my mother, but always felt that I was the child that she bonded with the least. As a successful therapist, wife and mother… I feel that I have everything I want… except a natural loving relationship with my mother. I’ve never told her, but she is my motivation!! I admire her strength and ability to recover from addiction. I’ve never told her that I forgive her for hurtful things that I may have overheard as a child, or statements made directly to me. I’ve never told her that I wish we went for walks in the park or had long talks about our days. I’ve never told her how important it is for my child to know her and spend as much time with her as possible. I’ve never told her that I want to be as strong as she is! I’ve never told her that I actually think about her daily, even though I don’t call or text all the time.❤ For years… I’ve longed for a mother/daughter relationship, and although I have not made a true effect to “start,” I vow to follow my heart and allow myself to be vulnerable and express my deepest feelings! I love you mom!
Love, Your Daughter.”
“Dear Mom, I see now how you sacrificed your American Dream for the betterment of our family. You saw your kid’s future to be a higher priority than your own. You have lived your life sacrificially and at times I am paralyzed by the shoes I fill when I say I am your daughter. You radiate love and generosity to those who know you. Thank you for making sure I knew Jesus as my savior and thank you for loving me even when I couldn’t love myself. You are a good mom and when I see your insecurities deep below the surface it pains me… Because when I see you: I see a beautiful, radiant mother, wife, sister, and friend. I see a beautiful multidimensional woman. I love you.
Love, Your Daughter.”
As daughters, the Bible says we rise up and call our mothers blessed. And maybe it takes some years to recognize what that looks like in your relationship with your mother. In fact, I think daughters sometimes forget that our mothers–though they are strong and fierce and superhuman–they need their daughters’ love, too. As soon as you grasp the realization of that, the obligation to that, and the necessity for that, that is when you will do whatever it takes to be the daughter she needs. Some of our mothers are gone, but never forgotten. And some of our mothers chose not to embrace their call. But as daughters, you still have an opportunity to be the woman, the wife, the mother, the DAUGHTER who you were called to be.
These heartfelt tributes convict my heart when it comes to the things I’ve yet to share with my own mother. I’ve never really sat down and told her how the older I get, the more I realize her selflessness was strength and her silence was dignity. I’ve never really told her that the business woman she was and is grew the respect I have for her when I became my own professional. I’ve never really shared with her that my shortcomings, failures, and mess-ups made me hurt inside when I knew I’d have to uncover them to her–because I never wanted her to feel like she failed me. To some extent, I believe we all have quiet truths that we’ve either consciously or unconsciously decided not to disclose with our mothers or loved ones. But this year, after having gone through Covid-19 realizing life is truly but a vapor–I want to help awaken us to the beauty of sharing our hearts with those we love. Words of affirmation? Phone calls or texts initiated by YOU? Special moments when you take time out of the busyness of your schedule to spend time with her? Honoring her through whatever means you can–don’t hold back any longer. Give your loved ones, especially your mothers and the mothers who filled that role for you their flowers today.And sign it: Love, Your Daughter.
This post is dedicated to my beautiful mother, Carol. You’ve inspired me to be more compassionate, loyal, loving, and forgiving than anyone else in this world. Your tenacity for family and caring for your children and your children’s has made me the woman I am today. Thank you for being you, and thank you for believing in me. Love, Your Daughter Bri
Daughter,
Thank you so very much for the beautiful tribute. Although, sometimes I fail to realize that I made such an impact on you, I thank God for the woman of God, wife, mother, sister, and daughter that you are today. I pray and have faith that you will have even more of an impact in the world around you. I know that your children will rise up and called you blessed. You are a blessing.