When I was invited to be a guest blogger for one of my oldest and dearest friends, my initial reaction was joy and excitement that she’d invited me into such a sacred space. And just as those emotions settled, they were replaced with self-doubt. All the questions–you know, the ones only we ask ourselves–flooded my mind:

Am I worthy? Will my message reach anyone? Do I have a message? What is my message?

Without thinking, I told myself what I’ve always told myself for the last 10 years when I get anxious, nervous, insecure or filled with self-doubt: Just Breathe.

If you were to ask my friends, family or colleagues to describe me in one word, many of them would say, ” Confident.” In many ways this is something I can’t help. My mom often shares stories of me as a child charging into situations boldly and confidently while she anxiously followed behind. And while confidence is an all-too-familiar adjective for me, it is not ever-present. I am here to tell you–even your most confident friend has self-doubt and insecurities. Don’t believe me? Ask them. Ask them what their fears are and you will learn their fears are just like everyone else’s. They fear not reaching their fullest potential, their dreams are out of reach and they are not (*insert relevant adjective*) enough. I do this. Your strongest friends do this. We all do this.

But whatever season you are in, whatever area you find yourself lacking, or whoever you believe you are not, I want you to know: you are enough. You are worthy and you are allowed to be unapologetically complex and show up as your full self.

Okay. Now that we’ve gotten our self-doubt out of the way, I would like to introduce myself:

Hello, my name is Veronica Ray Whitehead and I am a wife, puppy mama, sex educator, non-profit professional, group fitness instructor and recent lover and creator of hand embroidery. I am unapologetically complex. And here is how I encourage you to do the same.

Be Intentional. When I became engaged in 2013, I realized my health was no longer my own. In order to take care of my future family, I had to take care of myself first. Three years later, in 2016, I was the heaviest I had ever been. Life is crazy like that. In a new city, with a new job, and my new husband, I decided to join a local female-owned and operated gym. I drove home in tears after my first class. During my drive home, I resolved I would keep going back until I stopped crying. I made a plan and executed it. After a couple of months, I returned back to the very first class that made me cry. During my drive home there were no tears, just car karaoke. Two years later, in 2018 I became an instructor of that very class that made me cry. Like I said, life is crazy like that. Because I was intentional, I was able to take control of my health. Now when there is a goal or task I want to complete, I always ask myself, “How can I intentionally work to make this happen?”

Be Bold. Be Brave. Being bold and brave is kind of in my job description. I am a sex educator. Yes; you read that correctly. I teach sex ed to parents, teens and youth-serving professionals. And if you’re wondering, no topic is left not discussed in sex ed class. In this role I have been invited to have a seat at many tables, but to be clear: to have a seat alone is not enough if you do not use your voice. Share your ideas, no matter how big or small they may seem. If something feels or seems wrong, speak up. Advocate for others who can’t advocate for themselves. Apply for the promotion, ask for the raise, don’t tell yourself “no” before others can tell you yes. Be Bold. Be Brave. In all things!

Create Opportunity. As a young professional in public health, I have had the opportunity to be a part of incredible initiatives and take on roles and responsibilities that–on the onset–appeared too far out of reach. Here’s the thing about opportunities, though–you have to actively seek them AND create space for others. If you are not advancing in your career, education or any other space you occupy in the manner you envision, create opportunity. Instead of waiting to be invited to that meeting, ask to attend. The worst they can say is “no” and if you receive a “no” use that moment to create an opportunity to share why you would like to be included. Our needs and desires can’t be met if we don’t make others aware. At the same time, as we create opportunity for ourselves, we must create opportunity for other women. Next time you meet up with your girlfriends or chat with a new acquaintance, ask them, “How can I support you?” You may just be the connection they were looking for or their newest Etsy customer.

Whenever you feel anxious, or nervous, or unworthy and filled with self-doubt, I want you to remember: You ARE bold, brave, intentional, and a creator of opportunity. Just Breathe. And know that I am rooting for you, my sister.

Although I may never meet you, these words are filled with my love and hope,
Veronica Ray Whitehead, M.Ed., CHES

Veronica Ray Whitehead is a powerful voice in the public health profession who advocates for educating women in the area of sex education. Her passion for women’s empowerment, building community, and inspiring a life of fitness and health is contagious, though it’s been deeply embedded in who she is all of her life. She has a love for the arts (with an unashamed bias towards dance and literature) as well as exploring her latest crafting venture of embroidery. You can find her navigating the ever-changing space of being a Millennial in her roles as fur-momma, wife, daughter, sister, and–dearest to me–friend.