As a new, two-time mother, I’ve spent the last two months at home quite a bit with my newborn. She’s headed into 3-months as fierce as she knows how, and I’ve so enjoyed reliving the newborn stage! Sure, I’m exhausted and at times a little more feisty than usual, but I’m enjoying every bit of it. I am in a different season of my life than I was with my first princess; and with the summer off, I’ve had time to truly soak it all up, reflect on the experience, and place life in perspective in the most sobering way.

Many mothers–new and experienced–journey through their pregnancies with high anticipation for an exciting birth and postpartum journey. And while excitement awaits, an entire host of hormones, emotions, tasks and challenges await as well. As much as I aim to be an optimist in all I set out to do, I also aim to be practical when grappling with how to overcome life’s difficulties. There’s nothing more frustrating than people withholding their truths about a particular challenge they’ve had to overcome when in fact their story could help minister to another person and what they need in their season.

So, that’s my hope with my “Top 5 Postpartum Finds” series in August. Join me as I share the 5 truths I’ve discovered most recently in weekly posts throughout the month of August: 1. Be forgiving. 2. Be transparent. 3. Be intentional. 4. Be balanced. 5. Be open. Even though it’s titled “postpartum,” I pray through my recent revelations, you’ll find encouragement wherever you may be in your walk, too!

Find #1: Be forgiving.

Almost 2 weeks ago we were getting our 9-year-old off for camp. The night before I made sure bags were packed, meds were labeled, lunch was made, and so forth. Did I say lunch was made? Because it was!! The night before!! Well, the morning-of we load up, head to church, and arrive at the drop-off table.

“WHERE’S HER LUNCH????” It’s like my husband was screaming these words (he wasn’t but that was how I felt in that moment when I’d realized her lunch was still tucked away on the bottom shelf of the fridge where I’d left it the night before.). Y’all, when I tell you it took the camp send-off, a meeting, the whole ride home and then some for me to get over such a terrible feeling of “mommy guilt” and shame—it was tough for me, my husband, and I’m sure anyone who could feel my energy. And this was AFTER the camp counselors assured me there would be PLENTY of options for her when she arrived and she’d be fine! Ugggh! I hate the feeling, though, of forgetting something that was my responsibility especially if it affects my kids! Thankfully, between my husband and the Holy Spirit, I realized I wouldn’t begin to move on from that horrific feeling until I first forgave myself.

Often times, we put SO MUCH on ourselves—attempting to live up to the expectations we’ve put on ourselves and the made-up expectations we believe others have placed on us only to be disappointed when we fall short even in the slightest way. NEWSFLASH: WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES!! But it’s not what you did that has to define you as a wife/husband, mother/father, woman/man—it’s how you handle that mistake thereafter and moving forward that will determine your character. And furthermore, we’ve got to realize that it’s the very example of Jesus who forgives us, first. He forgives me when I forget the lunch, or the bottle, or the diapers—When I snap at my husband, forget to return a friend’s phone call, or fail to cross off 3 things on my to-do list. And while it’s my first reaction to beat myself up, tear myself down with destructive thoughts of self-shame—He reminds me that He still loves me in spite of. If he can forgive my shortcomings—past, present, and future—who am I to hold a grudge against myself? Once I came to the realization that I’m human, there was a freedom that came along with forgiving myself which changed my perspective and allowed me to enjoy the rest of my day.

Allow yourself to forgive the one person that’s the most difficult to forgive at times—you. It’ll help you to get back up and press forward in the right direction sooner than guilt and shame will allow you to.

Prayer: Lord, Instead of falling prey to the guilt & shame trap, see my heart for whatever role I am operating in—see my intentions and my hopes for being a great (insert roles here – ex. wife, mom, daughter, sister, mentor, and friend). And in all that I do, when I fail at something in one of these areas, let your mercy cover me & help me to receive the grace available to me in my weaknesses—which I have plenty of!! Teach me to forgive myself quickly as well as extend grace to others who need it also.

Can’t wait ’til next week when I share about my second find: Being transparent. 

Praying you see the fruitfulness in forgiveness,

Mrs. Bri Walker