Pee on the seat cover…
Smacking on his favorite snack in bed…
Cutting me off mid-sentence after HE asked ME a question!?!
Rushing me out of the door…
Maybe these things could be super annoying in a marriage–oh wait, they are! Trust me, I know this all too well! I’ve definitely been a victim to all of the above at some point or another! But wait.. hold up.. I didn’t mention all of the annoyances I provide my husband: getting hair everywhere, waiting until the last minute to tell him I need gas, taking forever to get ready, leaving a load of laundry in the dryer for days.. Now, we’re even! And please believe the list goes on for both of us..!
Nevertheless, you know what I’ve found to be incredibly liberating in my marriage? Learning to pick my battles. Gosh! When I learned that skill and began to apply it, boy did it begin to have a beautiful effect on how I reacted to things my husband did or said that didn’t measure up to my preference.
In a nutshell, reacting to such petty annoyances caused a lot of unnecessary tension in our marriage our first year. And quite frankly, we were both guilty of it (me more than him). Beyond that, we were both really tired of incurring the same ol’ heated discussions.
It wasn’t until we had banged our heads against each other’s one time more than we would’ve liked that we realized the damage we were causing to one another, to our marriage and to our peace as individuals. When we began seeking the Lord about how to accept one another, He was faithful in showing us just how to do that. From subscribing to a prominent marriage ministry blog, listening to marriage sermons, and leaning on our mentors for advice, God was incredibly faithful to help us discover the beauty in extending grace toward one another.
I say all that to say: Don’t you want peace? Don’t you desire to laugh more with your spouse? Don’t you wish you could look past the minor faults and give God the glory for the attributes your spouse brings to the table? Life and marriage becomes much sweeter when you do.
There are still moments in my walk where this is a failed test for me, but bless God I am so much further than what I was when I started! God, in His infinite mercy, looks past my shortcomings and flaws, extends grace to me EVERY DAY no matter what, and I’ve learned to embrace God’s grace in order to transfer that same grace to my husband. It’s only fair. It’s only right. It’s only Christ-like. And it’s a huge honor.
When I begin to focus on his strengths, I’m more inclined to celebrate him more, praise him more, and appreciate everything about him versus having a narrow-minded mentality that only sees the small infractions. That, my friends, is tragically toxic to everyone around! So now, I’ve learned to rush to the bathroom, unexpectedly notice pee on the seat, grab a piece of tissue, wipe it off and go about my business! And as I’m on the golden throne, I meditate on reasons why my husband is a blessing way beyond his ability to aim accurately! Since I’ve embraced this practice, as has my husband, we’ve learned to accept one another in ways that selflessly honor each other. We laugh more. We encourage each other more. We move past the minor things quicker. And we enjoy one another’s presence that much more!