Last week was by far one of the most emotional weeks I’ve had in a really long time. I mean, every time I looked up I was crying and dealing with some new emotional spin-off from the last. It was crazy. I was “in my feelings” and it didn’t seem as though I could get out of them! But you know what? That couldn’t be further from the truth. I DID have the power to get out of my feelings; it’s just a matter of if I wanted to use that power to do so.
You see, being in our feelings kind of gives us this luxury or ability to mask our current situations for what they really are into a position of pity for ourselves and victimization. And rightfully so sometimes–there are situations we find ourselves in that simply hurt us, trample on our fragile existence, and shatter the pieces it seems like God just put back together. It’s fair to “feel” those raw emotions. But what’s not fair–to you or to the people around you–is when you “get in your feelings” and you stay there.
Last week, it seemed like everyone was after me; like no one understand where I was coming from; as if my life was harder than it’s ever been; it felt like I was missing out on something; as though life was unfair; and the list goes on. And every time I cried, I felt a little better, a little more real, a tad bit more okay that I felt this way and “good” that I could “let it all out.” But 10 minutes, half an hour, or a day later–what was I left with? The same “in my feelings” attitude as the time before. And for what? So that I could feel justified? Validated? Better? Well let me tell you: short-term it may seem like you’re better, but being “in your feelings” long-term is destructive to everyone involved.
It’s when we’re in our feelings that the enemy can use it as an opportunity to plant seeds of deception, condemnation, and unfavorable ideas that will begin to fester and grow if you let them. All he needs is one opportunity that you take offense or sulk in your feelings for a minute too long and–BAM–he takes advantage of the situation. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10)–and the first place he presents himself is through your soul (your mind, will, and emotions) if you allow him to. For instance, the thought of “not being good enough and I’ll never be” began to plague me last week. Now, if I would’ve continued to resort back to my feelings, I could’ve bought into that lie which would’ve spiraled into a whole new host of insecurities which then would’ve negatively affected so many other things I had going on. On the onset of being in our feelings, it’s okay to feel that emotion, but bring those emotions (especially the toxic ones) into captivity and force them to line up with the Word of God (2 Corinthians 10:5). And I know it’s hard! Like I said, a lot of the time it’s easier for us to play the victim than to do what we know is right.
But ask yourself – are you willing to miss out on an opportunity that God can help you GROW just to “feel” validated for a moment in time? The choice is yours. And because I know it can be hard, I’m going to share some spiritual and practical ways to have the victory over “being in your feelings!”
- Open your mouth and declare what you want to see even if it’s not happening. “Call those things that be not as though they were…” (Romans 4:17).
- Spend time in prayer edifying (building up, feeding) your Spirit man. You are a spirit being who possesses a soul and lives in a physical body. You should always want your spirit man to dominate and lead the other two. Your prayer in the spirit will help build you up in the right areas causing the others to fall in line with the leader.
- Meditate on the Word daily. Replace your thoughts of insecurity, rejection, jealousy, resentment, etc. with what the Word says! “Renew your mind regularly with the “engrafted Word” (Romans 12:2; James 1:21).
- Be conscious about laying those negative emotions down, leaving them at the altar, and receiving God’s peace in place of worry and fear. (Phil 4: 6-7).
- Evaluate and eliminate some of the people you “vent” to. Sometimes, there are people you vent to who will help encourage you and pray for you, but there are others who will feed your emotions and keep you discouraged if you let them. Use maturity and wisdom to ensure you’re taking opportunities to grow instead of playing the victim.
Trust me, I know how difficult this process can be at times–I lived it so tangibly this past week. But praise God I didn’t stay in that place. And praise God you don’t have to either! Today, aim to come out of your feelings and step into faith! The Lord will honor a willing heart!